Sunday, November 26, 2006

Day 26: Smelly Cat, Meet Your Cousins, the Crappy Cats

Feral, unneutered, countless cats roam my neighborhood. Some cats are all black with a patch of white. Some cats are white with a patch of black. Some cats are gray. All of these cats are inbred and continually breeding. And I'm about to call the ASPCA. Because I have had enough. And why have I had enough, you may ask?

Because these cats come into my yard and CRAP.

And I'm sick and tired of cat crap in my yard.

Earlier this past summer, I bought powdered coyote piss and sprinkled that on the lawn.It was sort of effective. It burned up my lawn. Being almost straight urea, it would. Still, I could see the crap more clearly, as there was hardly any lawn growth to hide it under. Having recovered my lawn after some watering and a few generous late summer/early fall rain storms, I'm still at a loss for how to get these cats to stop crapping in my yard.

I'm open to solutions.

All solutions are welcome, with the exception of:
a) buying a big, slobbery dog
b) buying and using a firearm
c) poisoning them.

(The last is absolutely off the table, so don't even think about suggesting it. I'm looking for humane ways to keep these cats off my property. Barring something humane, I'll call the ASPCA. Although, maybe I'll borrow my parents' small, slobbery dachshund and let him piddle all over the yard. Maybe that'll work...)


whiskypants said...

Paving stones. The other upside to that option is not having to mow the grass (that you already killed anyway). You can still plant flowers in the spring, but just in large pots.

Cats are just disgusting animals.

Janet M. Kincaid said...

Whisky Pants: I'm thinking pavers for the backyard, but I have to be able to justify my ownership of a lawn mower. I may try spreading cayenne pepper all over the lawn. I've heard that works...

Anonymous said...

Humane traps?

Capture and neuter?

Hire a gunfigther? (naaah, just kidding)

Anonymous said...

Scott the Swissie,

Get a Have a Heart animal trap. Since they are non lethal, you trap the cat...if it has a collar, you call the owner to complain...if no collar Humane Society.

You could start a cat rescue organization....

Janet M. Kincaid said...

Gunfighter: Remember--no guns (too many in this city.) Unless they're the kind that squirt water. Do you do squirt gun training? I think I'm going to have to go with the Bob Barker solution: capture and neuter a la the ASPCA.

Scott Swissie: I'll check it out. I should have thought to ask you first. Hello! You only worked with animals at the pet day care for how long? Doh and duh.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Do you have a fence? I heard from my brother the cat owner that he lined his kitchen countertops with tin foil so when they'd jump up there, they freaked out and wouldn't jump up there again since they knew what was up there. I have a tall fence this would work on. Line the top with tin foil?

I read this and think it's insane. I'm not going to delete it though. My brother's cats actually go potty in the human toilet. He trained them to do it. I don't think they flush, though.

Janet M. Kincaid said...

SML: The problem isn't indoor cats as much as it's outdoor, owner-less, feral cats. As for a fence, I don't really have one (my neighbors on both sides do, but I don't have anything across the front or back) so tin foil is out. Bishop Rick suggested cayenne powder, which I may try. Otherwise, I've emailed the DC SPCA to see what they suggest or if they'll come out and round up the cats.

I'd love it if the cat living in my house would learn to use the toilet so the use of litter boxes could be eliminated all together. Nasty things. Blech.

Swizzies said...


Scott the Swissie may have just given Di the Swissie an idea, she said, looking askance at That Cat That Lives in Her House.

Eeeeevil I am.

Janet M. Kincaid said...

Swizzies: Di, Scott had a great idea there. I've also been eyeing it as a possibility for the feline population in this house. Cats. Spawn of Satan.

Anonymous said...

Oh no! I totally pissed off the guys I subletted from and lived with this summer by feeding the neighborhood cats. The cats would come by everyday. I was trying to fatten one up and take it with me, LOL. But I think it died or found a home, cause he stopped coming to eat.

If one of them has kittens, send me a message. I'm looking to adopt, but I can't go the traditional route cause I'm not supposed to have on in my place! I can get at least one off of your hands!