Friday, January 12, 2007

Too Old

I'm finally in that demographic where consumer products companies (CPGs) no longer care to know my opinion or respect my loyalty to their products.

Case in point: Herbal Essence hair care products.

It's winter. The humidity levels in the East take enough of a dive at this time of year that you feel static-clingy. Your skin dries out. If you're unlucky enough, your hands crack. And your scalp gets dry and itchy--though not to the point of needing Head & Shoulders or Selsen Blue. Just mildly, but maddeningly enough, itchy.

A winter or so ago, I asked my hair goddess--Sally--what I could use to cut the occasional itch and dryness. She recommended finding a shampoo with rosemary in it. So, off to Target I toodled (that's a verb by the way. It's a Kincaid verb, but a verb nonetheless. Means to nonchalantly mosey on over, or something like that. Toodle) and lo, and behold, I found a shampoo with rosemary in it.

Herbal Essence Rosemary something or other. It worked. My scalp was happy. I was happy. I kept buying the stuff, even after the cold weather ended and the days of Satan, er, summer, arrived with its ghastly heat and humidity.

But, 'round about August last year, I noticed something trendy going on in the shampoo aisle. No more Herbal Essence in the smells and combinations I liked. No more straight forward bottles. Nooooooo. In their place, twisty bottles with shampoo flavors like white nectarine with champagne and crushed pearl and names like "Color Me Happy" or "Body Envy" or "Hello Hydration." (What?! Have they hired the Hello Kitty people to name their 'poos? Gimme a break!)

Everything about the new packaging, the names, and the ingredients scream "20-35 Somethings!" That demographic that has everything, that is hip, that constantly wants the newest iteration of whatever with all the latest bells and whistles, and that marketers and the CPGs are targeting. The middle aged be damned! (And the other demographic that matters right now are the AARP'ers. Grand. Can't wait to start paying for them, too. I can kiss Social Security g'bye.)

Meanwhile, folks like myself (see aforementioned damned middle agers), who like the products they find and remain loyal to said products, are left out in the cold... Dry. Itchy. Cranky.

But hey, who needs a happy scalp when you can have a shampoo that gives you new Scrabble words like "degunkify."

3 comments:

Miss Understood said...

A friend of mine actually buys shampoo in packaging which colour co-ordinates with her bathroom. She doesn't care what it does, as long as it matches!

Swizzies said...

May I recommend Aveda Rosemary Mint? They've been making it for lo these many years, and I imagine they shall continue to do so. Comes in shampoo and conditioner.

JMK said...

Ms. U: I'm not quite sure what to say to that except: freaky!! No, wait, I can do better than that. As our women in the South would say, "Well, bless her little heart."

Swizzies: Thank you! I should have guessed Aveda would have a product. I'll check it out. Now... where is that Aveda store in D.C.??? Hm....