Monday, December 19, 2005

Breaking News: America Fires Congress; Pulls the Plug on Fox News

In a fit of true Christian, social justice, humanist pique today, America fired the 401 members of the House of Representatives who voted to “protect Christmas.”

As the federal deficit mounts, the poor get poorer, the rich get stingier, soldiers die in Iraq, Iran builds the bomb, citizens are homeless and starving, 26 million Americans go without health insurance, and gas and heating oil prices shoot through the roof, members of Congress have been squandering their time and taxpayer dollars to draft and pass legislation to ensure that Christmas gets shoved down people’s throats and everyone understands, within an inch of their lives that, “Goddammit! We’re Christians in this country and if you don’t like it, go back to the hedonist land you came from. And Merry Christmas!”


Boy, wouldn’t it be nice if that was the news?

Seriously, folks, as Andrew Shephard in The American President said, “We have real problems that need real solutions.” We don’t need politicians to scare us or blame others any more than they glad-handedly already do.

We need politicians who are going to exercise their purported Christian values in actions, not words or legislation.

So, to you pompous fools up there on the Hill who claim to represent the people, I say step up to the plate. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, care for the sick, afflicted, and widowed, house the homeless, visit those who are imprisoned….

(If you’d been reading your Bibles, as you thump and claim to do, you’d know that this is what Jesus taught us. Of course, I guess when you’re busy standing on it, it’s hard to open it up and read that, let alone follow it.)

Do what really matters and stop playing these partisan, bullshit, soundbite games. People’s lives are the on the line here and at the end of the day, a hungry, homeless, poor, sick person isn’t going to give a rat’s ass whether we wish each other Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Blessed Kwaanza or whatever. What they’re going to care about is, are they fed, warm, and safe. Put that in your jolly ol’ pipe and smoke it!

Read more here: The Debate.


always write said...

hear hear!

verniciousknids said...

"when you’re busy standing on it, it’s hard to open it up and read that, let alone follow it"

That is the God's honest truth!