Saturday, October 14, 2006

Good Therapy

I'll just say at the start, my therapist was right: when you're feeling frustrated with something or someone, write it all out in a letter as if you were going to send it, and then burn it. Or, it's like PostSecret. Put your secret on a postcard and set it free by mailing it to Frank Warren.

I spent a good hour and a half last night writing about the travails, trials, and tribulations of looking for a job. I titled it "Finding a Job is Haaaaaard..." and opened with a warning that whining was about to ensue.

I wrote prose about why I came to Washington, D.C. (it wasn't as noble as you might think) and how I've repeatedly struck out in this town from a work standpoint.

I bemoaned the fact that I want, want, want to get back into publishing, but I'm running up against roadblocks as I interview. I have all the skills and learning curve to work in the field, but the publishers and editors are looking for folks with industry knowledge and that's where I fall down. (Although, it's also the irony, because I'm a quick learner and can grasp concepts and ideas rapidly.)

All that to say, I wrote it all out and now, 24 hours later, I'm not going to post it. I'm electronically balling it up and tossing it in the round file. It felt good to write it, but I'm not sure it will get me ahead in today's "I Googled You" world. In the end, I'm still looking for work.

Finding a job IS hard, but I'm confident I'll be employed again soon.


Monica said...

Girrrrrl, you know leaving a certain place, relieving as it was, posed another to eat and keep a roof over our heads. God says "Go" and you go, and keep your faith in him, knowing that " all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)." Thaz YOU, girl! Stick it out, it's coming! I am here, two years later, praising him he gave me the guts to step out in faith. can I get an "amen????" Holla!

Really just wanted to shout the truth, although I know you already's good to hear it sometimes.

Ok - one more and then I'll stop (NEVER): "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life (Matt 6:25-27)?"

Or as part of it is translated in The Message version: "Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds." Love it. It's not some ancient cute story of a man in rags, it's the truth still today. Not just some of the time, but ALL of the time.

You are, have been, and I know always will be, such an amazing presence in my life and I know part of the reason why I was where I was - I met you. David and I love you so much and can't WAIT to see what God is bringing to you. We appreciate and value you friendship and we stand in agreement with you - always! God is good. ALL the time. Even when we don't understand. You GO girl! Yeeah! Oook...just ran out of seriousness. hey - you wanna hear a dirty joke? Oh right...better not.


Sister Mary Lisa said...

You will find a new job, and who knows? It may be your favorite job yet....

Mary Ellen said...

You'll find a new job in the Bay Area where you will be appreciated for your skills and wit and verve and you'll look back on this DC soujourn and think, "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time." And then you'll have a good laugh.

Let me know if I'm any good at predicting. ;)

Swizzies said...

As you already know, I highly approve of the write-it-ALL-down-in-highly-colorful-prose-and-then-don't-send-it method of purging. Just don't be dumb like me, and accidentally send it after you do so. Oy vey.

I also like to write it, and edit it, and edit it, and finely tune it until it says PRECISELY what I want to say, in all its profane, straight to the heart glory...and then burn it ceremoniously. I think it really helps.

But hell, I'm still a freaking neurotic mess, so don't listen to me. ;-)

Merujo said...

I understand what you're feeling so painfully well. During last year's 8-month dry spell, I questioned my abilities, my skills, my sanity, hell - even my choices in clothing. Something good will come to you.

We should grab a cup of coffee at some point. Seriously.

Just sign me "The One-Eyed Oracle of Employment."