Friday, December 01, 2006

Day 1 (Part 2): Hub Caps

I went walking in Rock Creek Park yesterday. The weather was gorgeous--a balmy 62 degrees with a slight breeze. I needed the exercise and figured I should get out before it snows or gets otherwise nasty.

I parked the car at "Picnic Area 8" and--not seeing any UFOs or aliens--headed back down the road toward the U.S. Park Police substation that's down near P.A. 6 and the intersection of Rock Creek Parkway and Military Road. It's about a 1.25 mile walk.

My iPod wasn't charged and had been left behind, lonely and sad on a shelf in my office, so it was just me and my thoughts and random observations. Here's what I observed: all of the police cars at the substation were lacking hub caps.

This then led me to observe that a wheel without a hub cap is an unattractive thing indeed.

Which then led me to wonder, why don't police cars have hub caps?

Being a fairly educated person, I dusted off my critical analysis skills and tried to think, if I were a police car, why would I not have hub caps?

Too flashy...

Too expensive to replace...

Too expensive to replace, because they have a tendency to not reliably stay on cars...

Too expensive to replace and unreliable, meaning they may choose an inopportune time to come off, like during a high speed chase...

Too expensive, unreliable, inopportunely come flying off during high speed chases, potentially hitting people and things that could be injured or damaged by said unintended flying object...

Hm. That had to be it.

So there you have it, folks. The reason--at least, as far as I can analyze--why police cars don't have hub caps. They're potentially dangerous in a high speed chase.

Any cops out there want to weigh in and explain otherwise?

Oh, and just so you know, the bathrooms at P.A. 6 aren't bad. Pretty clean and well-stocked with t.p. If you haven't spent time on the north end of the parkway, you should. Much quieter, less traffic, and bathrooms...

Photo courtesy of Ellen's Place.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Too expensive to replace, because they have a tendency to not reliably stay on cars..."

There you have it.

Our cars frequently lose hubcaps whiletravelling on the People's Republic of DC'c roads.

Janet M. Kincaid said...

Wow! My critical skills and deductive reasoning still work! Thanks, Gunfighter! Sometimes, the places my brain goes...

Sister Mary Lisa said...

I like this post. So very random.