World Famous in Poland Oatmeal

I’m sure you’re wondering, “What? World Famous in Poland Oatmeal?! What’s that?”

It’s two things: a reference to a line in a Mel Brooks’ movie and a recipe for oatmeal unlike any oatmeal you’ve ever eaten before.

But first, Mel Brooks. “World famous in Poland” is a line from his movie To Be Or Not To Be. If you haven’t seen this one, it ranks in the top three of all of Brooks’ films. The three being, in no particular order, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, and TBONTB.

If you can name the scene and the actor who says the line, "But he's world famous in Poland," I'll personally make you my "World Famous in Poland Oatmeal."

As for the oatmeal, what I’m about to share is nothing short of divine and is a family recipe that is unlike anything you’ve ever eaten in a hot breakfast cereal. If you’re like 99% of the population, you probably grew up eating oatmeal that was a variation on either watery and soupy or thick and tacky. You probably could have used it as wallpaper paste and never known the difference. It was generally “Quick Oats” or "Instant" you were eating and it likely stuck to your ribs. Which is a shame, really. Your oatmeal experience could have been so different—and is about to be—if you’d made it like I’m about to show you. (You can click on all the pictures to enlarge them and see more detail.)

Ingredients: Quaker Old Fashioned Oats, Raisins, Butter, Sugar, Cinnamon.
Tools: One sauce or quart pan, a strainer, a stove, and a proper sense of timing.

First, go to the cereal aisle in your favorite grocery store and buy a container of Quaker OLD FASHIONED OATS (see above.) Do not buy “Quick” or “Instant” oats. They are the reason oatmeal is so ghastly and 19th century. (And don’t even get me started on those awful insta-packs with all their artificial flavor iterations. Eeewwww. Ick. Plechy, as my sister would say.) In addition to the old fashioned oats, you will also need raisins, butter, sugar, and cinnamon.

Sauce pan with raisins and a 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Second, fill a quart sized pan 2/3 full with water. Add a teaspoon of salt. If you’d like raisins in your oatmeal, add them now. Bring the water with the raisins to a swift boil.

This is about 2 tbsp of butter (or 3 pats),
3 heaping tablespoons of white granulated sugar,
and 1/2 teaspoon of Saigon cinnamon.

Meanwhile, as you’re waiting for the water to boil, get out a deep cereal bowl—if you’re making a single serving, or a mixing bowl—if you’re making enough for you and family or friends. For a single serving, put 1 – 2 tablespoons of butter, 2 – 3 heaping tablespoons of sugar, and a 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon in the bowl. For multiple servings, double, triple, or quadruple those amounts (in other words, one fixing of ingredients per person.)

This is not quite 2 cups of oatmeal.

Once the water is boiling, scoop out two handfuls of oatmeal per person (not quite 2 cups) and dump it into the boiling water.

This is immediately after I poured the oats in the water with the raisins.
I then stir it around four or five times to make sure all the oats have equal cooking opportunity!

Let the oatmeal cook for about 15 seconds (but not more than 20 seconds) and remove from heat. Pour into a strainer to remove all of the excess water.

This is what it will look like when you've drained all of the water off.
You're really on your way to yummy now!

The oatmeal should look dry and loose, but will be cooked basically al dente thereby still retaining its firmness and not going mushy. If you cook it more than 20 seconds, you run the risk of it starting to feather and mush.

The finished product!

Transfer the oatmeal to your bowl with the butter, sugar, and cinnamon, and stir. You should get a silky, syrupy consistency and the smell of butter, sugar, and cinnamon should make you swoon. If you want milk with your oatmeal, add your desired amount.

If you look closely at the 3 o'clock position in this picture,
you'll see a little pool of syrup--
the result of the butter, sugar, and cinnamon
melting in the heat of the oats and raisins.
This is what makes this oatmeal especially divine.
Yum, yum, yum!

The perfect meal on a cold winter's morning/afternoon/evening... Eat up and eat hearty!



A note about the raisins: if you like raisins and you want them in your oatmeal, boil them with the water. This will melt the naturally occurring sugars in the raisins and make them plump, juicy, and sweet. (This is also a good tip to know when making oatmeal cookies. Believe you me, it will make a world of difference.) If you don't care for raisins--no way, no how--omit them. I haven't tried other dried fruits in this, though I imagine you could.

Another note about serving oatmeal this way: you’re probably feeling a little dubious and doubtful. You probably hate oatmeal and have nothing but psychologically scarring memories of your grandmother’s oatmeal. This is not, I repeat, NOT your grandmother’s oatmeal. I’ve converted many a friend to oatmeal using this recipe. I promise, it’s really, really good or I’ll give you your money back on your container of Quaker Old Fashioned Oats.

A special thanks to my brother, Phillip, for lending me his camera, without which this illustrated cooking lesson would not have been possible.

Photo copyrights: Janet M Kincaid