Sunday, April 29, 2007

Smoke Hallmark


You know Hallmark Cards, right? When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best?? The folks who've brought us Valentine's Day and National Adminstrative Professionals Day and Belly-Button Lint Collection Day in all its commercial, card-saturated glory? Well, I was on their site today looking for an appropriate e-Card to send my sister for her birthday, since I couldn't find an appropriate print card. (It has to be a fine balance of sentiment and humor. None of that schmarmy, sacchriny stuff for us, folks. And nothing too toilet. This year's selection of cards at the store were disappointing. Crass and crude, to be precise. Only funny as you read them, but then immediately followed by an "Oh my gosh. I can't send that.")

While I was on the U.S. site, I noticed a link for Hallmark UK and figured I'd poke around, since American sentiment and humor can be quite different from British sentiment and humor.

This is what the Hallmark (U.S.) site looks like. You'll notice the navbar on the left that let's you select from a variety of cards.


The one category that is so American is the "Support Our Troops" card selection. Nothing wrong with that. Just sayin'.... Sort of. I'm about to set up a compare and contrast here.


On the other side of the pond is the Hallmark UK site. It looks like this.

Again, you'll notice on the left a navbar that provides a selection of e-card options. But here's where the U.K. site and the U.S. site are so very different.

Only anywhere but the U.S. would you be able to find a card that congratulates and encourages your closest friends and family members in their efforts to quit smoking!

And this is why I love the Brits! We suppose ourselves to be too polite for such things over here. Over here, we talk behind people's backs.

"Did you notice that Nicole is giving up smoking?"

"No? Really?"

"Yes. Isn't it wonderful? I mean, it's just such a disgusting habit. Of course, don't get me wrong. It's her right to smoke, but still...."

Over there, they just come right out with it.

"Oy, matey! 'Bout time ya gave up that bloody, stinkin' 'abit. 'Ere, 'ave a pint!"

"Tanks, mate."

Ah, Hallmark.

4 comments:

Miss Understood said...

I laughed my *** off at this! I didn't even realise the 'given up smoking' cards were available. Perhaps it has something to do with our smoking ban which is rapidly approaching....?

General Encouragement cards? Now that's srange, lol.

JMK said...

Ms. U: I thought it was a bit peculiar, too, but not wholly unusual for the UK. Although, if a smoking ban is on the way, it would make sense that Hallmark would be knee-deep in a card for this. Hell, it's quite possible that next year, they'll have a card that will become the precursor to a holiday--National Imperial Parlimentarian Health Ministry Anti-Smoking, Life Affirming Ban on Stinking Weed Proclamation Day or something.

It could happen...

Miss Understood said...

In this world, anything could happen.....

Have they got "Happy Birthday Blog Buddy" cards yet?

Or "Hoping my Chat room chums have a chirpy Christmas"

Crazy!

JMK said...

Ms. U: No, but you should suggest it to Hallmark. I think I saw a link on one of their sites--I only looked at two; the U.S. and U.K. ones--where you can submit ideas or poetry and prose.