Monday, May 07, 2007

Ell-Aa-Em-Ee

Lame.

That's what this blog is lately.

L. A. M. E.

Of course, it's not like there's nothing to write about these days. Unfortunately, what there is to write about is the same-old, same-old that there was to write about last week and that there will be to write about next week. It's like the Pulitzer Prize-winning, Oprah-blessed book I just finished reading, The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. Also lame. (And how does a book that doesn't use contractions garner the Pulitzer? What are the criteria these days? Laziness in grammar? Saving trees by eliminating contractions and quotation marks, thereby saving 3.6 sheets of paper out of a 287 page book?)

I'm not even going to bother fully reviewing this book. Suffice it to say, the same scenario plays out over and over and over again with only minor variation here and there. In the end, the father dies and the son is left alone to fend for himself, but only long enough to cry crocodile tears before other survivors of the nuclear holocaust come along and take him in. This is a book that many of the nation's largest newspapers have anointed "the best book of the year."

How or why, I haven't a clue. If you've read it and can tell me how this book is comparable to a classic like William Golding's Lord of the Flies, I'll give it a second chance. Until then, lame. Out of five stars, minus three.

And continuing on a theme of lame...

This blog.

Also lame.

Nothing happenin' here.

Lame.

I need to dig my head out of whatever hole it's buried in and get back on the horse.

Hm. Mixed metaphors; a sure sign my writing is going to hell in a handbasket.

9 comments:

Gunfighter said...

Buck up, my friend!

Write something funny. Participate in some sort of meme. Take a break. Do my taxes.

Hey, let's have lunch on thursday! Then you could blog about me, me, me!

Sideon said...

I'm right there with you.

I have a l.a.m.e. award looming over my head. Maybe it's not looming. Maybe it already smacked me hard.

I'm watching myself not write.

See? I'm still doing it.

JMK said...

GF: I still need to do MY taxes! Looking forward to lunch next Tuesday. Maybe by then I'll have come up with some good blogging!

Sideon: What's up with the lameness? It's a bit disconcerting, isn't it? By the way--good job not writing here, man. I, too, enjoyed watching that! ;-)

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Here's a blog post subject list to choose from, in order to help me look lame to take the focus off of your blog looking lame. Which it does not, by the way.

Pick one:

1. More people watching stories and observations from work. That rocks.

2. Where would you be RIGHT NOW if you could have Scotty beam you up?

3. Why it's important for men to also read feminist writings.

4. Why it's important for some of us to wear a bra, no matter what, in public.

5. Why wiener dogs rule the world.

ME said...

On a vaguely related note, the women in my book group want to read Newberry Award books this summer. Are we not grown ups? L.A.M.E.

Now lamé--that's something you could squeeze a paragraph or two out of, yes?

Mary Ellen

JMK said...

ME: I think reading one or two Newberry Award winners would be fine, but reading only N.A. winners exclusively is totally L.A.M.E.

As for lamé, how did you know? That's what I wear to bed every night! And you should see the fur-lined slippers and the boa that go with my golden gown!

JMK said...

SML: Excellent list of topics. I actually started one a month or so ago about why weenie dogs rule. I should take that one up again. I've also been meaning to write a couple of restaurant reviews.

Hm....

As for people watching, since I've moved out of reception and back into office space land, I don't get to people watch as much. Well... That's not 100% true. I watch the people I work with and for. I could write about them, but then I might end up fired should anyone from PharmaCo. happen upon this humble blog. Still, they're a somewhat interesting bunch.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Hmmmm...to find a way to describe them while not admitting they are coworkers.

Hmmm.

JMK said...

SML: Kind of tough to do. Maybe I should start another blog and call it "In Which I Sell My Soul to the Devil..." or something like that.