Wednesday, May 09, 2007

One Happy Meal for The Queen, Please

As many of your may know, Her Majesty, the Queen of England, was in town this week. It's been a flurry of fanfare and formality all over the place.

She's been from Jamestown in the Commonwealth of Virginia to NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in the State of Maryland. In between, there's been a derby, a white-tie state dinner, a garden reception, and an embassy fête, as well as a wreath-laying at the World War II Memorial. (P.S. Is it just me or does the jacket on the First Lady's exclusive de la Renta gown make her look like she has post-menopausal, droopy boobs? Did she forget to wear a bra Monday evening?)

At most of the events, her hosts have fed her. And fed her artfully and well. Of course, this only seems proper. I mean, it is the Queen of England. This isn't your garden variety diplomatic visit we're talking about here. The food must be, well, fit for a queen.

Now don't misunderstand. I enjoy a lovely, high-brow meal along with the rest of gourmand America. I've even been known to try my hand a time or two at crafting a pièce de résistance of my own (I'm still trying.) But it was the artfulness of the food served at a reception hosted by Governor Tim Kaine (D-VA) in Richmond that takes the cake. Prepared by Chef Patrick O'Connell of the Inn at Little Washington, the food described seemed so high brow that the brows of the truly high brow likely registered off their foreheads, it was beyond hoity toity.

Which then made me wonder...

Does the Queen retire in the evening and wish for a simple burger from room service?

Or maybe a nice dish of basic vanilla ice cream with maybe a standard fudge sauce on the side?

Perhaps she gets to the end of these trips and dreams of beans and toast?

Because, truly, there's only so much rich, artful food a soul can eat before ones insides would start to feel schlampig. (That's German for messy, by the way.)

What they should have served the Queen was some good ol' comfort food. If the Queen had visited my house, I would have made PB&J with a side of potato chips and a tall glass of whole milk.

Of course, I wouldn't have called it that. It would have been something like this.

Groundnut Legumes
with Confit of Early Spring Raspberries
on Brioche Platters

Delicate Crisps of Solanum Tuberosum
Seasoned with Hints of Cape Hatteras Sea-salt

Free-range Milk of Domesticated Bovinae

Now what's high-brow about that?

Photo copyrights: The Washington Post (Camera Works), The Washington Post (Style section), and


NG said...

"Is it just me or does the jacket on the First Lady's exclusive de la Renta gown make her look like she has post-menopausal, droopy boobs?"

I thought the exact same thing! Did you also think that George Bush looked like a schoolboy dressed up for his first funeral? Or is that just me?

JMK said...

NG: Oh good! I'm glad to know I'm not alone in that. It's unfortunate as I'm sure "in person" the gown was quite lovely, but the way the jacket fell and was outlined by shadows, it ended up looking like droopy boobies. Not attractive on anyone, even a hippy, let alone a First Lady. Ah well.

As for Dubya, I hadn't thought of that, but now that I look at him again, I think you're right!

CreoleInDC said...



JMK said...

Creole: I always consider my blog a success if I either make you laugh or you tell me my writing was thought-provoking. So, today was a success! Thank you. I needed that!

ME said...

Laura could take a lesson from Helen Mirren about packaging the Girls.

Mary Ellen

JMK said...

ME: Seriously, huh? Although, I think the fault lies more in the cut and lay of the jacket than with Mrs. Bush's bazoombas themselves. Still, what was de la Renta thinking?!? Obviously, someone failed to take a page out of the Jackie O Book of Classy Fashion and Attire for State Dinners at the White House.

Merujo said...

Congrats - the free press has given you a sex change - ReadExpress thinks you're a "he."

Quote (after quoting you): "The blogger says he thinks the queen gets tired of haute cuisine and yearns for comfort food."


JMK said...

Merujo: Thanks for point this out! I would have totally missed it if you hadn't. As for the sex change, well... THAT'S news to me! Too funny!

Adriana Velez said...

I love it -- best description of PB&J I've ever read! Makes me want to go and make myself one right now.

Congrats on the mention, too, though it's funny they got your gender wrong. Maybe they somehow know about all those Brooks Brother's shirts...