ADRIAN FENTY: It's 10 o'clock on a Friday Night...

...Do You Know Where D.C.'s Youth Are?

And further more, do you care?

Last year, in an effort to stem the tide of crime and homicides being committed by and on D.C. children under the age of 18, then-Mayor Anthony Williams and then-Chief of Police Charles Ramsey declared a "Crime Emergency" and asked the City Council to institute a curfew on the city's youth. The council voted in favor of the curfew with, if I remember correctly, only one 'nay' vote, which was cast by our now-Mayor, the lithe and youthful, brash and swashbuckling Adrian Fenty, who claimed that young people were not the cause of crime and it was a crime and a non-solution to make them be in their houses and, perhaps even in bed, by 10 0'clock at night.

I don't have all the statistics or the quotes or the actual votes that some readers will demand in the interest of "fair reporting." I'll leave that to others to cull and post. What I do have, though, is a D.C. address, taxes that I pay, and experience with unruly youth who roam the streets until midnight disregarding the fact that their neighbors may actually want to go to sleep between the hours of 10:00 and 12:00. And even if we don't, we'd like some quiet enjoyment in our own homes without the need to be hypervigilant about kids trespassing in our yards, whooping it up in the street, banging into and boucing themselves and each off of our cars, and just causing general mayhem.

It's been a year since the curfews, which were welcome and effective. Last night, we had "police action" on our street. Last night, the pack of kids across the street were out in all their boisterous, fuck-you-neighbors noisiness, as were a number of other packs on virtually every street corner I drove past between my end of upper NW and downtown. (A route I drove to take a friend home.) Last night, I spoke to two officers of the MPD, both of whom expressed disgust with Mayor Fenty's "liberal policies" and short-sightedness for not enacting a curfew on the city's youth.

Yo' Adrian! Listen up man.

1. I work hard.
2. I pay taxes. A lot of taxes.
3. I expect, in return for my hard work and taxes, to enjoy some modicum of peace and quiet in my neighborhood.
4. I believe children and youths under the age of 16 have absolutely no business being out on the streets after 10:00 p.m. unless they're working and enroute to/from a job.
5. I believe you are an idiot and full of shit to not listen to those who are on the ground, day and night, charged with serving and protecting our city. People who see what young people are doing to each other and their neighbors and who know that a curfew is a good thing.
6. Curfews save lives. Curfews keep the peace. Curfews lower murder rates.

The cop I talked to suggested I write you a letter. This is the first. There will be others. I want our city's kids to enjoy being outside and hangin' with their friends, but I also want to enjoy some peace and quiet after 10' o-clock at night. Any decent, respectful person would want the same.

Sincerely,

Janet M. Kincaid
D.C. Taxpayer and Home Owner

Area 57

At 11:08 p.m. tonight, these were the headlines at the washingtonpost.com:

Lead Exposure Linked to Crime
New Seven Wonders Named
Revisiting the Five Second Rule
Uncovering the Truth in Roswell
Pagans Can't be Pegged
In France, Sarkozy's Jogging Is a Running Joke

Either it's a really slow news day in D.C. (and thank goodness for that. We need a break!) or the aliens of Roswell have decamped to the Nation's Capital.

Why?

Why did I move from this...

To this...

And this...

Friggin' fraggin' dirty bastard Asian Tiger mosquitoes! I hate you!

Why, dear God? Why?!?!!!

Precisely Why We Need the Holocaust Museum

Eavesdrop DC reports this comment overheard in the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.

Which is exactly why memorials like this are necessary.

Lest we forget...

Caption This Photo

In yesterday's Washington Post, there was an article about freshman Congressman Joe Courtney of Connecticut. This photo accompanied the article as part of a gallery of pictures. From left to right: Cong. Courtney (D-Conn.), Cong. John Murtha (D-Penn.), and Cong. John Larson (D-Conn.)


Here's how I'd caption it...

Larson (in his head): Is that a dingleberry on Murtha's butt?!
Courtney (in his head): What's the protocol for this? Do I pull on it? Do I tell John? What do I do?

Or, I'd caption it like this...

Larson: Damn! Murtha's got toilet paper hanging outta his pants again.
Courtney: Now that there's funny! I don't care who you are.

Or, using Comic Life, a software program on my MacBook, I'd caption it thusly... (Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

How would you caption it?

Creature Comforts

I love this series in the U.K. format, but I'm wondering if it's translating well for the U.S. format.

Creature Comforts: Featuring the Voices of Your Fellow Americans

Actually, I think they should do a version where they talk to tourists in D.C.

Seems like 95 percent of the people who come here are morons who haven't done their homework before they get here, so they end up saying stupid stuff that makes me want to take off my shoe and whack them on the side of the head.

See examples of tourons* here.

* Eavesdrop D.C. calls them 'tourons.' Tourists + morons = tourons.

FUNNY!

Well, okay, only sort of funny.

There are times when D.C. can laugh at itself. Check this out:

Seriously Funny: 10 Bureaucrats, 1 Comedy Contest. And, No, We're Not Joking

My vote went to Freddi Vernell, by the way.

People Watch: Brought to You By WMATA

Today’s edition of People Watch is brought to you by the Washington Metropolitan Area Transportation Authority, the letter S, and the number 6.

I’m figuring out this commute thing, slowly but surely. I embark at the Republic of Takoma Station and I disembark in the Melting Pot of Chinatown Station. All told, when Metro is working like it should, it’s a 20 minute ride with only seven stations between me and my destination.

This morning, though, there was a switching problem at one of the stations further down the line, which resulted in all of us being backed up and crawling along from one station to the next. There were six trains between us and the station with the problem, which meant some delays. Fortunately, we had an excellent train operator who updated us every couple of minutes and who spoke clearly so he could be understood. No Bahnhof on this train! (That’s a German euphemism, by the way. As in, “Er spricht Bahnhof.” [Transliteration: He speaks train station. Translation: When he speaks, he is incomprehensible.])

It’s amazing what a difference even 15 minutes can make. Yesterday, I left 15 minutes later than the day before. The frenzy, particularly at my final stop, was noticeably more… er, frenzied. My stop is a transfer point, so people are rushing to get from one train to the next. Trains come every three minutes, but heaven forbid folks have to wait for a train. The result: a continual stampede akin to the running of the bulls. People’s eyes get really big and they look like cows panicking in the chutes on the way to the slaughterhouse as they run and dodge to absolutely get on that train right now. Apropos, I suppose. Just replace chutes with escalators and slaughterhouses with jobs and you get the picture. Although, cows involuntarily go to the slaughter, whereas we humans voluntarily go to work. Leave 15 minutes earlier and it’s a leisurely walk to the train car of your choice and a relatively calm walk along the platforms and out of that station.

Metro is a good place to people watch, too. This morning’s observees included a pensive, overheated woman, a talkative court reporter from Fredricksburg, an older woman on a cell phone, a guy with a beard who was muttering, and a soldier. There were others in the train car, but these were the ones I noticed in particular.

Sidebar: There goes Rosa Klebb! Going down… It’s a comfort to know she’s here and shuttling back and forth between floors. Yesterday, not so much. Maybe today will be a more active day…

Back to our programming…

Sitting across from me this morning was a young woman; no more than 32 or 33 would be my guess. She had taken off her coat and scarf, which made me wonder, “Is she European?” You know, trying not to get too warm, because that will just makes things feel colder once you’re outside. I could tell her brain was going 50 mph. She had a pensive, lower-lip-jutting-out look screwed on her face. She kept pulling at her lip, too. I was pretty sure I didn’t want to crawl inside her head and have a look around. She looked tired, and anxious for the weekend to start.

Across from pensive woman was a very kind, gentle looking woman. In her mid-50s maybe. She had a face that was soft and eyes that were warm. I could see a salad in a Gladware container peeking out of the top of her shoulder bag. While the train was at its prolonged standstill, she pulled out her cell phone and quietly made a call to say, “I’m stuck on the train. There’s a switching problem, but I should be there shortly…” And just as quietly, she hung up. Nice, I thought. Discrete, polite, succinct. No drama, just the facts. On and off, lickety-spit.

Shortly after her call, the trains started moving again. We pulled into Union Station and I was joined by a woman, her roll-on bag, and a whopping leather satchel. She plonked down next to me and bumped my arm, but apologized for her invasion of my little space. A few minutes later, she started talking away. I don’t even remember what she started off with, to be honest. Probably something about the train delays. I asked if she was visiting D.C. or leaving. Neither, she said. Turns out she’s a court reporter who schleps her work stuff around in a roll-on suitcase and who commutes to D.C. from Fredricksburg every day. It was everything I could do not to look at her incredulously and say, “Are you insane?” We had a congenial chat, and then we arrived at my station.

But not before the guy with the beard and the glasses started muttering to himself about how much he hates Metro. I didn’t catch all of his rave because he was speaking Bahnhof and I was only catching snippets. It sounded sort of like this: “Bahnhof Metro! I Bahnhof Bahnhof system. It’s always Bahnhof Bahnhof Bahnhof I’m always Bahnhof. Bahnhof a shitty Bahnhof Bahnhof day.”

As for the soldier, I just noticed him for three reasons. One, he was quite tall. Two, he kept his beret on, then seemed to remember the protocol is lids off when you’re indoors, so he rapidly plucked it off. A result no doubt of his internal drill sergeant dressing him down. His maneuver made me think of The Gunfighter and his blog posting about folks who wear hats indoors. And third, he was so tall, he was spread out across both seats with one of his khaki combat boots sticking out almost into the aisle. Which made me think about a blog I read the other day about how much sitting room guys take up versus women. Has something to do with not squishing their package, I guess.

Speaking of packages, I think I’ll have bratwursts and sauerkraut for dinner tonight.

Number of Rosa Klebb sightings while I wrote this entry: 4

Photo copyright: Brian Horling.

Crowd Control a la D.C.

Had to make a trip to the doctor today. My fabulous internist's office is at 24th and M Streets NW, which is also right around the corner from Washington, D.C.'s, newest Trader Joe's at 24th and L. Having completed my business with the medical stuff, I decided to pop into TJ's because I had decent street parking and figured I might as well take advantage of it.

The new TJ's is spacious and well-stocked, in keeping with the company's image. But the thing that stood out in this particular store was how the check out lanes were set up.

Trader Joe's has done everything it can to ensure that Washingtonians are on their best behavior by corralling folks. When you're ready to pay for your treasures of Joe, you queue up in a roped off lane and wait for the next available cashier to call out, "Next customer, please!" Think Borders Books crowd control, but for food instead.

On the one hand, it's a great way to handle the hoary masses of Pirate Booty-crazed downtowners.

On the other hand, it's a sad commentary on the behavior of folks in this town and its surrounding feeder 'burbs. It's testament to the me-first, fuck-you, narcissitic behavior of many of the people who live and work here who think only of themselves and rarely think of others.

In many respects, it's poetic that we end up herded like a bunch of stupid bovine or sheep. We're often no better behaved and yet, we should know better. Making the effort to be courteous and polite takes very little time and goes a long way. So the next time you're heading for a line in a store somewhere, stop a moment, take a deep breath, and repeat the words, "It's okay. I'll get there when I get there."

This town is hard enough without all the bad behavior. Let's make an effort to make it a kinder, gentler place. And thank you Trader Joe's for reining in the hoary hipsters. I think.

Photo copyright: Rick Nolthenius via Google Images.

Day 29: Gutter Ball

Okay, my mind must be in the gutter this morning, but I'd like to think I'm not the only one who chuckled when I read this in today's Washington Post:

At a morning news briefing, [Adrian] Fenty (D) defended his decision to retain many agency directors and other high-ranking officials of the administration of Anthony A. Williams (D) when he takes over the D.C. government Jan. 2.

He cautioned against a throw-the-bums-out approach.... "If we just threw out everybody, then I wouldn't be able to come," said Fenty, who for six years was the Ward 4 council member.

He seriously didn't say that, did he? Please tell me that the reporter who wrote this piece forgot to finish the quote.

Here's the entire article, if you want to read it.

Photo courtesy of Archivo/Washington Hispanic. Comic blurb courtesy of me and my MacBook's software, ComicLife.

Day 11: Jesus is a Stinker

Sometimes, I think my background as a sociologist of religion, ergo an observer of religious constructs and systems, makes me jaded. For example, this article in today's Washington Post.

Inquiry Sought Over Evangelical Video: Defense Department Asked to Examine Officers' Acts Supporting Christian Group

Year's ago, I likely would have read it and thought very little of it. But as it is, I try to pay attention to language and phrases as they are sometimes uttered unwittingly and overtly without intending to be offensive or short-sighted. And yet, they can be potentially stupid and offensive if you stand outside of what it is you're saying or you believe and you look in with objective, open eyes.

(Please note: I'm not saying that people of faith are stupid or offensive. What I am saying is, sometimes our use of language that is common to us and those who believe like we do seems perfectly normal. To us. And, we assume, by default, to others as well. But if we stand outside of our language and rhetoric and listen with the ears of those who are receiving our words, we may find that our language needs some modification in order for it to be better received.)

For example, the other day, the Post featured an editorial by one of America's foremost historians and commentators, Douglas Brinkley. In writing that historians should be cautious about declaring George W. Bush the worst president ever (which, may I say subjectively, he is, but that's not the point), Brinkley wrote, "Clearly it's dangerous for historians to wield the 'worst president' label like a scalp-hungry tomahawk (emphasis added) simply because they object to Bush's record." (Read the entire piece here, if you'd like.)

Did Brinkley really say that? I thought. Did he actually use the words "like a scalp-hungry tomahawk"? I even e-mailed him and asked, I was so astonished. I have yet to hear back from him, by the way.

Likewise, in the above linked article from today's Post, Army Brig. General Bob Casen is quoted as saying, "I immediately feel like I am being held accountable, because we are the aroma of Jesus Christ." (Emphasis added.)

My eyes came to a screeching halt on that sentence. Is this a new phrase in the evangelical lexicon? The aroma of Jesus Christ? What is that exactly? (See above parenthetical re: esoteric/common language.)

Did Jesus finally come out with His own line of perfumes and colognes? Should we expect a clothing line next? Something heavy in shrouds and the latest in sandals? Or maybe something more heavenly like white, flowing robes (though I have heard that brown is the new black this season. I wonder how He'll work that one in?)

Or, is Christ a bit smelly and moldering after all those years away from earth and, by some Roman Catholic-like miracle, His pungency alights on the faithful and gives them an odor that only the truly devout can ascertain through their supposedly anointed olfactory senses? Sort of like a secret handshake or something?

I don't mean to be sacrilegious here (or maybe I do), especially since I believe in Christ, but I'm not wrapping my head around this new moniker, the aroma of Jesus Christ. And, if you'll pardon my hubris here, if I were Jesus, I'm not sure I'd want to be an aroma.

"Behold, I am Jesus Christ, come into the world to... smell."

Hm. Nope. Just not the same as His original message.

Day 3 (Part 2): Prescient

Today is the 20th anniversary of Washington Post Magazine, a supplement that appears each Sunday in the print and online editions of the Post.

Almost 15 years ago, an article appeared in the magazine about traffic in and around D.C. You would like to think traffic has improved in these parts with better planning and more roads, but it hasn't. This article could just as easily have been written for this weekend's edition of the WPM.

Read Get Outta the *%? Way! and you'll understand why I named my blog On Rush Hour in D.C.

It's the Real Thing... Have a Coke and Smile...

Dan Froomkin, a columnist at the Washington Post who writes "White House Briefing," included this lovely tidbit in his daily round-up today:

The Morning Visit

Ted Barrett writes for CNN: "President Bush barely mentioned the war in Iraq when he met with Republican senators behind closed doors in the Capitol Thursday morning and was not asked about the course of the war, Sen. Trent Lott, R-Mississippi, said.

"'No, none of that,' Lott told reporters after the session when asked if the Iraq war was discussed. 'You're the only ones who obsess on that. We don't and the real people out in the real world don't for the most part.'"

* * * * *

I hope like hell I'm not one of "the real people out in the real world." And I'd sure as hell would like to know who these "real people" are and where this "real world" is located so I'll know to avoid it like the plague.

Spy Agencies Say Iraq War Hurting U.S. Terror Fight

This was the headline in today's Washington Post.

My only comment on this: "Well, duh."

Okay, now I'll really rant. Keep in mind that I'm just a lowly scholar of religion and society who specializes in Mormon sociology and whose sub-area is Islam in the West. I have a master's degree in Religion and Society from the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley and minored in Religious Studies at George Mason University. Neither are schools of great note like the Harvards and Yales and Oxfords of so many esteemed intellects and career politicians and diplomats. Still, it wasn't a shoddy education.

Having laid out my less than austere credentials, I will proudly proclaim this, though: when the U.S. launched its war against Iraq, I said to a number of people at that time and have continued to declare, "If George Bush thought Osama bin Laden was a problem, he's seen nothing. With this action against Iraq, he's just created 1,000 bin Ladens."

I know I'm not the only person who has said this over the last three years. I'm sure others more learned and lettered than I am have said it. But here's the rub: how is it that all the analysts and diplomats and politicians who have made their careers out of being analysts and diplomats and politicians couldn't figure that one out years ago?

I call it Waco Syndrome. You have all these supposedly educated folk at the FBI who failed because they refused to believe that religious cults would act differently from your run-of-the-mill Montana militia man (apologies in advance to Beauty and the Beltway for the Montana reference.) David Koresh and his motley crew would likely still be alive today, if the FBI and its negotiaters had consulted a sociologist of religion or two.

Likewise, you have supposedly educated folk at the CIA, DIA, FBI, NSA, DOD, DOJ, pick your alphabet soup agency, who failed and/or downright refused to believe that their actions would incite radical Muslims and create more terrorists.

Well, I may just be a lowly sociologist, but I'm here to tell you, that one, Mr. President, Mr. Rumsfeld, Mr. Powell, Mr. Negraponte, Mr. Blair, whoever, was a no-brainer.

Closed for Business

My friend, Peter, who is on a fellowship this year in Senator Joseph Lieberman's (D-CT) office, reports that yesterday's invocation of Rule 21 by Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) was pretty exciting. He said they were minding their own business, watching the live feed from the Senate floor out of the corners of their eyes when suddenly, all the screens went blank. It was, in Peter's words, a "What the Hell Just Happened" moment.

Here's hoping that moment breaks wide open the truth behind the farce and the lies that led to the unnecessary war in Iraq.